apurrstate: (Default)
Anders ([personal profile] apurrstate) wrote2020-06-16 06:28 pm
Entry tags:

IC Contact Duplicity

UN:PANACEA: Sorry I missed your call, I'm likely working. Please leave a message.
haldaneprotector: (Default)

Text

[personal profile] haldaneprotector 2020-09-04 08:28 pm (UTC)(link)
I realize that our contract allows for help with fulfilling quota.

[ Just...getting that out of the way first, before the actual question. ]

Does anything happen to you if one of us does not?
haldaneprotector: (3)

[personal profile] haldaneprotector 2020-09-04 09:29 pm (UTC)(link)
I realize that, thank you.

I'm certain that I am missing a good deal. I am relatively new, but are we not being compelled into sex, anyway?
haldaneprotector: (9)

[personal profile] haldaneprotector 2020-09-04 10:37 pm (UTC)(link)
There are several issues here, entwined.

The first is that I would like to know more about you, but only if you are comfortable telling me. I would also like to be able to tell you more about myself and my own world, but only what you are interested in knowing.

The second is that the effect of my actions on you matter, whether they are 'logical' or not. That influences any decisions I make regarding this City.

And, finally, none of that is required for me to accept what you are telling me.
haldaneprotector: (5)

[personal profile] haldaneprotector 2020-09-04 11:24 pm (UTC)(link)
I feel as though you seeing yourself as a shield for me, particularly from my own actions, is something that could be an entirely separate, and likely very long conversation.

Therefore, one that needs to be had, but not necessarily in this moment.

Help me understand how you are compartmentalizing the SLUT center. With as much history as you are willing to give. Please.
haldaneprotector: (5)

cw: religious persecution and torture

[personal profile] haldaneprotector 2020-09-05 12:36 am (UTC)(link)
[ He is horrified, but he is neither shocked nor surprised and the horror itself is not entirely unfamiliar to him. Neither is the information he has been given, unfortunately ]

My earliest clear memory is of the scent from a Deryni being burned to death.

[ Not looking for sympathy, at all, it just seems a good introduction to the fact that he is not unfamiliar with atrocities committed against those with magical ability. Also not going to talk about what's been done to him because that is not the point.]

I am uniquely positioned as a Deryni within my own world. My mother was Deryni, but my father was an Earl and Duke who loved her, anyway. She exposed herself as Deryni when I was little more than an infant, in providing testimony against the close relative of a very, very highly ranked church official. That of course, also exposed me. I was also bound, magically, when I was extremely young to the then King's eldest son, by the King and for the purpose of serving and protecting that son.

What I am has always been known. I have never lost my titles, my land, or my rank as General of the King's army. The boy I was bound to became King shortly after I was bound to him. I lived in court after my father died, until his wife was no longer able to tolerate my presence. The archbishop never stopped seeking revenge against my dead mother through me, and being Deryni never stopped being something to be feared and hated. My open position within the court and closeness to Brion made an open target of me, but also protected me.

I have been privileged from the beginning. I still am.

But I do not know how to separate meeting the requirements here from being complicit.
Edited 2020-09-05 00:47 (UTC)
haldaneprotector: (5)

[personal profile] haldaneprotector 2020-09-05 01:21 am (UTC)(link)
[ He would prefer people not be tortured anywhere, much less for things beyond their control. He is, still, glad that there is a point of commonality, there.

It would be very, very hard to be understand or to be understood by with a background without that continual level of... fear and resistance.]


The distinction between complicit and complacent is a good, and useful, one. It's one I can accept.

Now, can we discuss why you think you feel the need to serve as a shield for me, particularly against the consequences of my own actions?
haldaneprotector: (5)

[personal profile] haldaneprotector 2020-09-05 05:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Would you like to know something that I have learned over a lifetime of service and protection?

[ Not waiting on the answer. ]

That a shield can turn away a near endless number of attacks, if it is used to deflect or redirect, but it can only take a limited number of direct blows before it breaks and is useless to the one who is wielding it.
haldaneprotector: (Default)

Re: CW: slight suicidal ideation

[personal profile] haldaneprotector 2020-09-08 03:58 am (UTC)(link)
A fundamental difference in perspective, I think. My entire life has been in Service to a man and
his throne. Not an ideal.

I think you would very much like my cousin, and he you. Even if he is a priest. Maybe because of it.
haldaneprotector: (Default)

[personal profile] haldaneprotector 2020-09-08 11:29 pm (UTC)(link)
The man I saw burned to death was a man who's crime was being both Deryni and Priest. My cousin's name is Duncan, and he is Deryni. He is not a man of the Church, he is a man of God.

He is also clearly lacking self-preservation and certain types of intelligence.

All of that aside, he's seen me do some incredibly brutal things and seems to have not only forgiven me but to like me.
haldaneprotector: (3)

[personal profile] haldaneprotector 2020-09-09 12:46 am (UTC)(link)
I did tell you.

[ smug bastard. ]

We seem to never find balance.
Rulers who use their magic for terrible things -- and terrible things done to people, including ruler, because they have the ability.

As for my service to the King and his lineage and throne - the day I was named I was made the key to unlock his magical ability. I am not well liked. That has little to do with me, I acknowledge, but it has also never been a concern.

I'm glad you like me; we will see if that continues when you know me.
haldaneprotector: (1)

[personal profile] haldaneprotector 2020-09-10 04:35 am (UTC)(link)
My mother bore that scorn first, in exposing herself as Deryni to pursue justice. I would be known, regardless, and positioning me as near to the King as possible likely saved my life and title several times over.

That does mean, however, that you are very right: it's never been about me.
Some people like me quite a bit. Others would like to throttle me. We'll figure out where we fall, together.

And I look forward to the process.