Anders (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
apurrstate) wrote2016-05-03 09:35 pm
apurrstate) wrote2016-05-03 09:35 pm
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Anders?
[She should have contacted him sooner, but she'd been battling with herself for days over this.]
Can I talk to you somewhere private?
[She should have contacted him sooner, but she'd been battling with herself for days over this.]
Can I talk to you somewhere private?
[He's quick to answer with a small smile for her.]
Of course, Commander. We could talk in my clinic or in the greenhouse? Anywhere you'd like.
[There was a trace of worry in his eyes, but he was trying to withhold the questions on his tongue until they were face-to-face.]
Of course, Commander. We could talk in my clinic or in the greenhouse? Anywhere you'd like.
[There was a trace of worry in his eyes, but he was trying to withhold the questions on his tongue until they were face-to-face.]
I think your clinic will do. I'll be there shortly.
[she leaves it at that. Short and abrupt, but she wants to move before she loses her nerve.
Some time later, she'll wander into his clinic, glancing around for him.]
[she leaves it at that. Short and abrupt, but she wants to move before she loses her nerve.
Some time later, she'll wander into his clinic, glancing around for him.]
They tired.
[Anders gave a sly smirk.]
If you think I was any sort of good student, then I've been giving you the wrong impression all this time.
[He shrugged.]
They taught me what I needed for my work as an herbalist, only those who actually cared enough for numbers learned more. But I've never heard of them being used to tell the future.
[Anders gave a sly smirk.]
If you think I was any sort of good student, then I've been giving you the wrong impression all this time.
[He shrugged.]
They taught me what I needed for my work as an herbalist, only those who actually cared enough for numbers learned more. But I've never heard of them being used to tell the future.
Right, I forgot. You must have been escaping like the clever thing you are during that class.
[He's amused by it as much as he's impressed, has always been impressed by Anders' stories of his many escapes from Kinloch Tower. Granted there's the undercurrent that if he'd been so clever then why did he have to escape so many times instead of just the once, but he'd always seemed to have gotten recaptured doing something selfless. Saving someone's life, healing sick children, putting cream out for cats. That's the Anders he fell in love with, and he was always there, even before Justice. It's a comfort, that.]
My love, the quintessential rebel.
[He leans over and presses his palm to the side of Anders' jaw, brushing his thumb affectionately over the stubble he finds there.]
[He's amused by it as much as he's impressed, has always been impressed by Anders' stories of his many escapes from Kinloch Tower. Granted there's the undercurrent that if he'd been so clever then why did he have to escape so many times instead of just the once, but he'd always seemed to have gotten recaptured doing something selfless. Saving someone's life, healing sick children, putting cream out for cats. That's the Anders he fell in love with, and he was always there, even before Justice. It's a comfort, that.]
My love, the quintessential rebel.
[He leans over and presses his palm to the side of Anders' jaw, brushing his thumb affectionately over the stubble he finds there.]
More like drawing in the margins of my books and 'notes,' escaping was more of an after class activity.
[But he smiled warmly under Hawke's attention, his hand coming up to lay on top of Adalwolfe's, his thumb mimicking Hawke's on the back of his hand.]
You know, love, if you ever wanted to learn something, I'd be more than happy to teach you. Or learn with you, if I don't know it. There is plenty I don't know, after all.
[But he smiled warmly under Hawke's attention, his hand coming up to lay on top of Adalwolfe's, his thumb mimicking Hawke's on the back of his hand.]
You know, love, if you ever wanted to learn something, I'd be more than happy to teach you. Or learn with you, if I don't know it. There is plenty I don't know, after all.
[Anders waves to her from across the clinic where his miniature garden is set up. Pounce is slinking through the stalks of elfroot, embrium and other medical plants like a tiny tiger in a jungle.]
Hello. What can I do for you, commander? Surely not healing...unless it is healing..you haven't gotten into anything you shouldn't, have you?
[The years he'd had Isabla in his clinic every other night to cure some sexual disease or another had jaded him towards private meetings. And Bran...
Not that he thought that was the case with Riona, but he couldn't help if his mind instantly jumped to 'private afflictions.']
Hello. What can I do for you, commander? Surely not healing...unless it is healing..you haven't gotten into anything you shouldn't, have you?
[The years he'd had Isabla in his clinic every other night to cure some sexual disease or another had jaded him towards private meetings. And Bran...
Not that he thought that was the case with Riona, but he couldn't help if his mind instantly jumped to 'private afflictions.']
[Hes about to name potions, but Heromione's skill at that is far more varied than either of them have ever imagined potions even could be, so perhaps he'd best ask her. They could both learn together. But for the things that Anders knows...]
I've never been good at Creation or Spirit magic so I don't know if you could teach that to me or not, but I do know you're very skilled at both. And maybe Entropy spells... All the subtle things. I can blast enemies into oblivion but I can't even manage a simple hex.
I've never been good at Creation or Spirit magic so I don't know if you could teach that to me or not, but I do know you're very skilled at both. And maybe Entropy spells... All the subtle things. I can blast enemies into oblivion but I can't even manage a simple hex.
[She approaches slowly, smiling as she watches Pounce for a moment. A part of her feels like she's being ridiculous for being so nervous. But the nerves are there, regardless.]
No, no, nothing like that. I, ah... wanted to talk to you about something that was suggested to me. [She glances over at him.] Apparently, Leliana talked to one of my shipmates about your... situation with Justice. His name is Allen Walker, I don't know if you've met. She explained things to him, but apparently Allen has an innate distrust of what he calls "church officials", so he approached me about it and asked for my perspective. Which, I'm glad he did.
[She can only imagine what Leliana told him.]
Allen is an exorcist. He can remove trapped spirits. He says that he can remove Justice from you - safely - and that Justice should be able to return to the Fade. But... it's a gamble. With us being so far from Thedas, there's no guarantee that that's where Justice will go. I told him I would talk to you about it and see what you wanted to do.
No, no, nothing like that. I, ah... wanted to talk to you about something that was suggested to me. [She glances over at him.] Apparently, Leliana talked to one of my shipmates about your... situation with Justice. His name is Allen Walker, I don't know if you've met. She explained things to him, but apparently Allen has an innate distrust of what he calls "church officials", so he approached me about it and asked for my perspective. Which, I'm glad he did.
[She can only imagine what Leliana told him.]
Allen is an exorcist. He can remove trapped spirits. He says that he can remove Justice from you - safely - and that Justice should be able to return to the Fade. But... it's a gamble. With us being so far from Thedas, there's no guarantee that that's where Justice will go. I told him I would talk to you about it and see what you wanted to do.
[He's tense and quiet, smile falling from his face, the moment she mentions Justice. It's Riona, out of anyone in this fleet, she's likely the only other one to care about Justice being safe, but the subject instantly filled him with dread all the same.
At least he can appreciate Allen for coming to find Riona's opinion instead of Leliana's. If it was Leliana's choice, they likely would have been killed or worse by now.
By the end of her explanation, he's loosened up more and he gives a heavy sigh.]
I don't know.
[And that was part of them problem, he didn't want to gamble on Justice's life. His own was negotiable, but Justice deserved to be free of him and his influence. But what if he simply vanished or couldn't reach the Fade or anything else that could go wrong?
But was sticking him in something else really any better alternative? He'd been used to freedom and free will in Kristoff and he'd lost much of that when he'd joined with Anders, but sticking him in one of the robots or a creature with a diminished capacity would be just as limiting in other ways.
He wished, hoped, that something would suddenly change and he could simply talk to Justice about it instead of having the vague feelings and notions in the back of his mind. That constant buzz of the fade in his head that let him know how his friend was doing and his opinions. At least, on that front, he didn't feel anything overtly negative. There just wasn't a positive either.
Anders gave a strained laugh.]
Is there a better plus side that doesn't involve 'hopefully this works?'
At least he can appreciate Allen for coming to find Riona's opinion instead of Leliana's. If it was Leliana's choice, they likely would have been killed or worse by now.
By the end of her explanation, he's loosened up more and he gives a heavy sigh.]
I don't know.
[And that was part of them problem, he didn't want to gamble on Justice's life. His own was negotiable, but Justice deserved to be free of him and his influence. But what if he simply vanished or couldn't reach the Fade or anything else that could go wrong?
But was sticking him in something else really any better alternative? He'd been used to freedom and free will in Kristoff and he'd lost much of that when he'd joined with Anders, but sticking him in one of the robots or a creature with a diminished capacity would be just as limiting in other ways.
He wished, hoped, that something would suddenly change and he could simply talk to Justice about it instead of having the vague feelings and notions in the back of his mind. That constant buzz of the fade in his head that let him know how his friend was doing and his opinions. At least, on that front, he didn't feel anything overtly negative. There just wasn't a positive either.
Anders gave a strained laugh.]
Is there a better plus side that doesn't involve 'hopefully this works?'
[His expression was gentle but the look in his eyes said he thought Hawke could lift the world over his head and believed it whole-heartedly. Hawke could do nearly anything if he wanted to. It was just another thing Anders loved about him.]
You already have some Creation magic, I could certainly teach you how to strengthen it or use it in other ways like paralysis. I know for a fact you could be a spirit healer as well, if you had the inclination. I could teach that to you. Just about anything I know is yours to learn. Well, with maybe one or two exceptions.
And perhaps you can help me to strengthen my elemental magic?
You already have some Creation magic, I could certainly teach you how to strengthen it or use it in other ways like paralysis. I know for a fact you could be a spirit healer as well, if you had the inclination. I could teach that to you. Just about anything I know is yours to learn. Well, with maybe one or two exceptions.
And perhaps you can help me to strengthen my elemental magic?
This is very much a gamble, Anders, and that's why I wanted to talk to you, to both of you, about it. He'll be free, and neither of you will be harmed. It's just whether or not he can reach the Fade from here.
[She wishes she had more of a reassurance, but she doesn't.]
It's whether or not Justice is willing to take that chance.
[She wishes she had more of a reassurance, but she doesn't.]
It's whether or not Justice is willing to take that chance.
Sure, I could try. I'm not much for teaching but if anyone can understand my gibberish when I try and explain things, its you.
[He gives a lopsided smile, adoring even in its incredulity.]
I think you're reaching a bit on me being a spirit healer though, Love.
[He gives a lopsided smile, adoring even in its incredulity.]
I think you're reaching a bit on me being a spirit healer though, Love.
Edited 2016-10-17 19:23 (UTC)
[There's a calm, a pulse in the back of his mind like a cooling wind on a hot day and it's all he can possibly ask for in regards to an answer.]
I think...he's willing to try.
I imagine the possibility of returning to the fade is a stronger motivation than the option of being stuffed into another host of some sort.
[He gave her a small smile.]
If you think we had trouble adjusting to this place, imagine how it must be for him. I don't think there's a thing on this fleet that makes sense to him.
[Of course, that wasn't really it. Not by half. But as much as he wanted to talk to her about the corruption growing every day and every burst of anger, about the fight he'd had with Hawke because he couldn't even talk to his love about something morally grey without Justice taking Anders' anger and burning it brighter into a flame that couldn't be argued with. Not by Hawke, not even by Anders himself.]
I think...he's willing to try.
I imagine the possibility of returning to the fade is a stronger motivation than the option of being stuffed into another host of some sort.
[He gave her a small smile.]
If you think we had trouble adjusting to this place, imagine how it must be for him. I don't think there's a thing on this fleet that makes sense to him.
[Of course, that wasn't really it. Not by half. But as much as he wanted to talk to her about the corruption growing every day and every burst of anger, about the fight he'd had with Hawke because he couldn't even talk to his love about something morally grey without Justice taking Anders' anger and burning it brighter into a flame that couldn't be argued with. Not by Hawke, not even by Anders himself.]
"All day." He smirks and makes a gentle scoffing laugh. "It hardly matters." Not when he didn't intend for them to leave until their hands had traced over every inch of each other and their lips had followed each delicate path with dedicated diligence. Not until he'd claimed every inch of this wonderful man for his own.
A low moan quietly threads between them on an exhale for the feeling of any part of Hawke in him. While one hand continues it's gentle carding through his lover's hair, the other slid down so, so slowly. Long calloused fingers slipped over Hawke's shoulder and down his chest, through that fine blanket of white hairs Anders loved playing with, stopping to carefully tease a nipple before skating the rest of the way down to follow that trail of hairs low. Anders' fingers curled expertly around Hawke, his hold fairly slack and gentle, more to tease and encourage than any attempt to stroke his lover off. No, he intended to let his body do that, to feel Adalwolfe release deep inside him instead. A small shudder snaked down his spine at the thought. All in good time.
He nipped up Hawke's neck to his jaw and set to the carefully slow task of lavishing a deep and visible love-mark on the point just below Hawke's jawline. His. The world had tried to take him enough, Anders wouldn't stand for it anymore. Let them find a different Champion to sacrifice to their needs, Adalwolfe Hawke belonged to him.
A low moan quietly threads between them on an exhale for the feeling of any part of Hawke in him. While one hand continues it's gentle carding through his lover's hair, the other slid down so, so slowly. Long calloused fingers slipped over Hawke's shoulder and down his chest, through that fine blanket of white hairs Anders loved playing with, stopping to carefully tease a nipple before skating the rest of the way down to follow that trail of hairs low. Anders' fingers curled expertly around Hawke, his hold fairly slack and gentle, more to tease and encourage than any attempt to stroke his lover off. No, he intended to let his body do that, to feel Adalwolfe release deep inside him instead. A small shudder snaked down his spine at the thought. All in good time.
He nipped up Hawke's neck to his jaw and set to the carefully slow task of lavishing a deep and visible love-mark on the point just below Hawke's jawline. His. The world had tried to take him enough, Anders wouldn't stand for it anymore. Let them find a different Champion to sacrifice to their needs, Adalwolfe Hawke belonged to him.
[It feels like she's been holding her breath, waiting for his answer. She tries not to fret, to let her nervousness show. But she cannot deny the relief that surges through her when he assents.]
Good. I know it's risky, but a chance to be able to get him back to the Fade is one we should take. And... he must be terribly homesick.
[Not to mention what must be going on with him, being inside Anders.
Something about his words makes her pause, brow furrowing as she considers.]
...has he been all right? Have you been all right?
Good. I know it's risky, but a chance to be able to get him back to the Fade is one we should take. And... he must be terribly homesick.
[Not to mention what must be going on with him, being inside Anders.
Something about his words makes her pause, brow furrowing as she considers.]
...has he been all right? Have you been all right?
Adalwolfe lets out a huff of breath then sucks another in against Anders' shoulder as those long and staff-calloused fingers slip around him, just holding for now, but holding in and of itself implies ownership and that thought alone sends a shudder crawling up Hawke's back and warmth pooling lazily in his belly, a want that grows faster as his love latches lips to where his jaw meets his neck and sucking just shy of breaking the skin there. He knows he'll have an angry bruise and the thought makes a small laugh rumble in his chest, light and pleased.
He loves wearing the marks and bites Anders gives him. His mage could leave him black and blue and aching from the waist up and Wolfe would forego a shirt whatever chance he got until the last mark faded, just to show the world and everyone exactly who he belongs to. He loves it, gets off on it, and his fingers move just a little more exuberantly in Anders' body more in reward than retaliation.
"More," he breathes, nearly a whine as he hardens slowly in Anders' grip. He doesn't mean Anders' hand though, he means more marks, more physical evidence of who owns him, body and soul. With another heady sigh, Wolfe moves his head, exposing his throat to Anders' mouth, his teeth, whatever the blond wants to use to claim him, and slips his finger in to the knuckle as he bites his own lip in anticipation.
He loves wearing the marks and bites Anders gives him. His mage could leave him black and blue and aching from the waist up and Wolfe would forego a shirt whatever chance he got until the last mark faded, just to show the world and everyone exactly who he belongs to. He loves it, gets off on it, and his fingers move just a little more exuberantly in Anders' body more in reward than retaliation.
"More," he breathes, nearly a whine as he hardens slowly in Anders' grip. He doesn't mean Anders' hand though, he means more marks, more physical evidence of who owns him, body and soul. With another heady sigh, Wolfe moves his head, exposing his throat to Anders' mouth, his teeth, whatever the blond wants to use to claim him, and slips his finger in to the knuckle as he bites his own lip in anticipation.
[Anders leans in to press an adoring kiss to Hawke's lips, as though he could convince Hawke of all of Anders' confidence in him with that alone.]
And I think you're selling yourself short. I'm not saying it would come to you easily, but I'd hardly call you 'incapable.'
For now, if you'd rather, we can focus on other areas.
[They might as well find something to take up their time with now that they weren't on the run or helping every soul in the fleet as they'd done in Kirkwall.]
And I think you're selling yourself short. I'm not saying it would come to you easily, but I'd hardly call you 'incapable.'
For now, if you'd rather, we can focus on other areas.
[They might as well find something to take up their time with now that they weren't on the run or helping every soul in the fleet as they'd done in Kirkwall.]
[Adalwolfe thinks for a moment, then looks at Anders with a glimmer in his eye as he slides his arms around Anders.]
There's one area I'd like to focus on right now.
[He leans right back in to put a much longer, fiercer kiss against Anders' mouth.]
There's one area I'd like to focus on right now.
[He leans right back in to put a much longer, fiercer kiss against Anders' mouth.]
I believe he is.
[He couldn't say with complete certainty, but he knew his friend had been homesick before, even as he was hesitant on leaving. Ten years later and he could only imagine how much worse it might be. Especially with Anders trying to limit his trips to the Fade in his sleep back home.
Her question draws a sad smile from him. She was always a little too astute for him to talk to many circles around. Something else he admired about her.]
Honestly? No. I don't think we've been all right for a long time and, if anything, the Chantry shows that best. It's complicated...but every day we stay together is another day things might get worse, worse to the point of going too far.
If for no other reason, we should take this option because it might be the last chance we have. Don't tell Hawke I told you that...either of them, please.
[He couldn't say with complete certainty, but he knew his friend had been homesick before, even as he was hesitant on leaving. Ten years later and he could only imagine how much worse it might be. Especially with Anders trying to limit his trips to the Fade in his sleep back home.
Her question draws a sad smile from him. She was always a little too astute for him to talk to many circles around. Something else he admired about her.]
Honestly? No. I don't think we've been all right for a long time and, if anything, the Chantry shows that best. It's complicated...but every day we stay together is another day things might get worse, worse to the point of going too far.
If for no other reason, we should take this option because it might be the last chance we have. Don't tell Hawke I told you that...either of them, please.
[Anders smirks and meets the kiss with just as much heat and passion.
When they part, Anders peppers Hawke's jaw and lips with quick small kisses as he spoke.]
You're impossible.
I find that very attractive.
When they part, Anders peppers Hawke's jaw and lips with quick small kisses as he spoke.]
You're impossible.
I find that very attractive.
Anders' breath comes in sharp and then he's sucking at a new spot, the junction of neck and shoulder. He sucked hard and worried the skin with his teeth. His fingers curled tighter, still not stroking, just holding tight exactly the way Hawke had been perceiving it. This too belonged to Anders, just like the rest of the man under his lips and hands.
His other hand moved to the back of Hawke's neck, fingers massaging gently at the muscles there as a contrast to the sharp sting of bites and sucked skin. Carefully, diligently, Anders left mark after mark along one side of Hawke's neck, down to his collarbone, and then up the other.
"Do you like everyone knowing you belong to me, love?" He was still slow, still loving and careful, but his voice was deep, husky with how much love. How much he needed Hawke. Needed to hear Hawke's answer.
His other hand moved to the back of Hawke's neck, fingers massaging gently at the muscles there as a contrast to the sharp sting of bites and sucked skin. Carefully, diligently, Anders left mark after mark along one side of Hawke's neck, down to his collarbone, and then up the other.
"Do you like everyone knowing you belong to me, love?" He was still slow, still loving and careful, but his voice was deep, husky with how much love. How much he needed Hawke. Needed to hear Hawke's answer.
He groans, Maker does he groan at Anders claiming him up and down his neck, across his throat, anywhere, everywhere. His groans turn to moans and needy whines, unable to be muffled lest he lean in and force his lover to break the lock of teeth and lips against his tender flesh.
"Love it," Adalwolfe growls, not bothering to watch his volume. He's never been quiet, not when it comes to their love making, not like Anders. Years in a Circle tower will do that, silence born of necessity, but Hawke? What few dalliances he had did not carry such restriction. Yes he had to hide his magic, but he wasn't forbidden from this, from expressing love and lust and much of what made him who he was. Funny, though, how even if the volume remains, he still feels a new man since the very day he met Anders. That was the moment he became someone new, someone who's main goal was to at first fall into bed with a cheeky Warden apostate and so quickly became to entangle them both inextricably.
"Adore it. I want the world to see." He slides his fingers in and out, carefully adding a second as he's so very aware of Anders' fingers curling tighter around him, just enough to add a little pressure. Or maybe it's just him growing to such a hardness that he can feel every little change in pressure. Maybe both.
"I'm yours. Always yours. Please," he doesn't even know what he's asking for, but the word comes out anyway. Adalwolfe may not be a praying man, but in times like this his utterances sound suspiciously like confession, pleading not for the Maker to give him strength but for Anders to give him deliverance in a voice that rumbles his chest with need and makes his eyes bright.
"Love it," Adalwolfe growls, not bothering to watch his volume. He's never been quiet, not when it comes to their love making, not like Anders. Years in a Circle tower will do that, silence born of necessity, but Hawke? What few dalliances he had did not carry such restriction. Yes he had to hide his magic, but he wasn't forbidden from this, from expressing love and lust and much of what made him who he was. Funny, though, how even if the volume remains, he still feels a new man since the very day he met Anders. That was the moment he became someone new, someone who's main goal was to at first fall into bed with a cheeky Warden apostate and so quickly became to entangle them both inextricably.
"Adore it. I want the world to see." He slides his fingers in and out, carefully adding a second as he's so very aware of Anders' fingers curling tighter around him, just enough to add a little pressure. Or maybe it's just him growing to such a hardness that he can feel every little change in pressure. Maybe both.
"I'm yours. Always yours. Please," he doesn't even know what he's asking for, but the word comes out anyway. Adalwolfe may not be a praying man, but in times like this his utterances sound suspiciously like confession, pleading not for the Maker to give him strength but for Anders to give him deliverance in a voice that rumbles his chest with need and makes his eyes bright.
Anders knows why he's usually quiet and he knows Hawke knows, but he will always be thankful Hawke isn't quiet. He never went to the circle, was never cut at and beaten down to fit the mold required, he was never told his feelings weren't allowed and feared the threat of retaliation for letting his lover know how much he needed him. He was raw and unbridled and so full of beautiful passion. Anders felt greedy and selfish drinking it in when he barely had half to offer back, but he drank like a man who hadn't known water in weeks. Every sound from his beloved was encouragement to mark more, harder, longer. He left marks he knew would be visible and some he knew would be there to greet Adalwolfe every time his collar dipped too low or he stripped for the night.
They'd be there for Anders to kiss over and over again, never healing them for the eaqually selfish reason that he wanted to the universe to know who Adalwolfe belonged to as well.
"That's right, my heart. Mine." He whispered it into Hawke's ear, his hand giving a much tighter squeeze than he'd been giving before. Slowly, diligently, that hand slid down Wolfe's length, a slickness following in it's wake. Again, he spoke low into his lover's ear. "What would you like, my Hawke? Would you like me to remind you how much you belong to me?"
Slow? Yes. Kind? He'd made no promise of such a thing. All he swore was that they'd make up for lost time.
They'd be there for Anders to kiss over and over again, never healing them for the eaqually selfish reason that he wanted to the universe to know who Adalwolfe belonged to as well.
"That's right, my heart. Mine." He whispered it into Hawke's ear, his hand giving a much tighter squeeze than he'd been giving before. Slowly, diligently, that hand slid down Wolfe's length, a slickness following in it's wake. Again, he spoke low into his lover's ear. "What would you like, my Hawke? Would you like me to remind you how much you belong to me?"
Slow? Yes. Kind? He'd made no promise of such a thing. All he swore was that they'd make up for lost time.
[She remembers that as well, how much he missed the Fade, even as he began to learn to admire the real world. After so many years, after what he's seen and done, she imagines it's tenfold now. He needs to go home, to be himself and do... well, what spirits of Justice do. And Anders needs to have his own life back.
Maker, let this work. It's all I ask.]
Is it getting that bad? Is he...?
[She won't tell anyone else; she won't break the trust of her men. But as much as she's afraid to know, she has to.]
Maker, let this work. It's all I ask.]
Is it getting that bad? Is he...?
[She won't tell anyone else; she won't break the trust of her men. But as much as she's afraid to know, she has to.]
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